Casualty Bingo


Last night there was no Casualty, on account of a silly song competition. Instead of weeping I used my time profitably to develop the following Casualty-themed bingo game. Next time you are bored of a Saturday evening, (and I’m pretty sure the concept will translate equally well for Tuesday night viewings of Holby City), you and your fellow viewers can select ten of your favourite BBC medical drama-themed cliches and see whose ten appear first in the episode your watching. You’re very welcome.


  1. Doctor saying U’s and E’s in an authoritative voice.
  2. A new character appearing as a witness to an accident at the start of an episode then, fifty minutes later, finding themselves employed as a nurse/doctor/receptionist/paramedic.
  3. Patient attempting to discharge him or herself against the better judgment of the medical staff.
  4. Patient who discharges him or herself against the better judgment of the medical staff collapsing in the car park less than five minutes later.
  5. New F1 proven to be completely inept within ten minutes of hitting the ward.
  6. Maverick young doctor conducting a dangerous procedure without the knowledge of his or her superior.
  7. Superior of maverick young doctor who conducts dangerous procedure without permission, initially becoming irate, then quickly admitting that the maverick young doctor was right all along.
  8. Patient developing a tension pneumo-thorax/blood clot/seizure about 35 minutes into an episode because the condition was originally missed by the medical staff who forgot to do a blood pressure check/ultrasound/x-ray.
  9. Doctor/nurse/receptionist/paramedic who are quite happily employed at the beginning of an episode and yet, by the episode’s end, have acquired a new job/life goal, left Holby and enjoyed a fabulous leaving party in the pub across the car park.
  10. Patient who is reasonably pregnant but hasn’t seemed to notice until she arrives in the emergency room with a nosebleed/sprained ankle/nasty dose of concussion.
  11. Surgeon with a hand tremor which he/she attempts to hide for as long as possible.
  12. Emergency tracheotomy performed with a biro
  13. Episode opening with a potentially lethal scenario, (speeding cars, amateur firework display, knife juggling), only to find the injuries focused upon are of a completely unrelated nature, (paper cut, heart attack, lethal brain tumour).
  14. Appearance of Northern Irish character who turns out to be a wife-beater/alcoholic/terrorist.
  15. Charlie Fairhead raising both hands to the heavens in a gesture which can be interpreted as anger, frustration, bafflement and overwhelming happiness, (sometimes simultaneously).
  16. Doctor being vomited upon, usually whilst wearing a particularly smart outfit because they have an important interview later in the episode.
  17. Episode which begins with a scene of unspecified horror and then flashes back to ten hours earlier, explaining the day’s happenings backwards. (Often accompanied by “arty” camera work).
  18. Paramedics liberating the ambulance for their own mercy mission.
  19. Pets on the ward. (Subsection pets being operated on as if they are actually patients).
  20. Patient attempting to jump or fall from the roof.
  21. Nursing staff misplacing a child on the ward. Child then being placated with a chocolate bar from the vending machine
  22. Patient passing out in the toilets thus necessitating the kicking in of a door.
  23. Staff member with a drink/drug habit. Best indicated by the slamming of locker doors, angrily at inopportune moments.
  24. Family with marital problems at the start of an episode, experiencing complete reconciliation by the end of the episode.
  25. Patient with-holding some key aspect of their illness, (e.g. heroin addiction, pregnancy or shellfish allergy).
  26. Staff or patients being held hostage by a psychopath, usually in the basement.
  27. Seemingly sackable offences (e.g. killing patients with the wrong medication, having affairs with patients or attempting to forcibly trephine a patient with a household drill), forgotten about after two to three episodes.
  28. Patient shocked back into the land of the living after all but one, (atypically maverick young doctor), refuses to give up on him or her.
  29. Open fracture. Most commonly leg based, more interestingly arm.
  30. Actor previously seen on Hollyoaks introduced as new staff member.

Bonus point for:

  • Holby City cast member appearing in Casualty or vice versa.

Double Bonus Points for:

  • Holby at Casualty or Casualty at Holby episodes complete with mash up of both theme tunes. (Code name: “The Evolutionary Pinnacle of the BBC”)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s